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“I mostly thought, ‘I’m going to die alone, no one’s going to date me ever again,” she tells SELF.

Although herpes is one of the most prevalent sexually transmitted diseases, it’s shrouded in stigma.

The best way for couples to deal with herpes is to talk about it openly and make decisions together. There’s no one, single approach that works best for all people, but there are some guidelines that can help make this easier.

By disclosing your infection to your partner, you’re not only establishing a tone of trust—good for any healthy relationship—but you’re also taking an important step to reduce transmission.

Marie Claire: How has having a STI affected your dating life?

One in every six people between the ages of 14-49 have it, and the majority don't even know (! To help us demystify the experience, we spoke with herpes-positive blogger Ella Dawson, 23, to tell us about what really happens when you date with the STI.

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It has never been my desire to be in a relationship like this.Once I left that relationship I realized that he had been treating me in a way that was really inexcusable, and decided that nobody gets to make you feel worthless.It doesn't matter what virus you have or what decisions you've made in life, there's no justification for that.Dear Colette, my question is a bit "heavy" and I hope you are willing to help me with it, because it is totally messing with my body, my heart, my head, with my confidence, with my ability to believe that it's possible for anyone to ever love me again, or ever want to risk being with me because of the physical and psychological impact.I wish it weren't true, but I have contracted the virus for genital herpes.It can be really scary to have a conversation with someone that you just started dating because you're so worried that the other person will judge you in that moment.