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Meet me in five minutes.” When I walked into the room I shouted, “It’s-a-meee, Mario! I don’t remember how I got out of the tiny Tigger costume, but I don’t think I wore it I was Pop of Snap, Crackle, and Pop. Fred’s roommate kept saying, “Hop on Pop, tap Snap, tackle Crackle,” but we didn’t all find hookups that night.

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I needed a cheap and easy Halloween costume, so I threw on a strapless swimsuit cover-up, horrible Uggs, and aviator sunglasses. We got shitty drunk and conspired about where to fuck. Crew dress back up and took a cab home, so proud of myself for successfully repurposing a bridesmaid dress. I was dressed as a librarian: cardigan, round glasses, long skirt, dowdy wig. He hit on me by asking me to look up the word My sophomore year of college, back when I was a chain-smoking vegetarian and weighed 100 pounds, I bought a children’s Tigger costume at Walmart.

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