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“Don’t give up, ” my friend urged me, my shoulder in her hand, a vodka martini in mine.“You’ll find something that feels right eventually.”I realized that it had somehow, unbelievably, been a decade since I was in love. I can, often to my own detriment, fill hours, days, sometimes weeks, with actives of complete solitude without a speck of loneliness. Intent on my career, being single felt more like a badge than a blemish.Here, there are all these politicians but they are really out of commission for the most part -- or if they fool around, it's with interns. The people who are really high status are off the market. Even if a woman can't be with a movie star, women can still say, 'Gee, this guy or that guy is not a movie star or a director.' There's lobbyists and lawyers here, a lot of them. As a male in Washington, you can be high in status fairly easily without the true very high status competing. In the past, I’d have sought that comfort out in a white man, but that night I knew it wouldn’t be enough.It’s not that I don’t think white people are anxious; two months into Trump’s presidency, most of the white people in my life are activated.Here's his case: I think it's better to date here if you are male.Government attracts a disproportionate share of intelligent women.

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We reminded each other not to over-apologize, shared tips on power stances that felt so goofy but worked so well, urged one another to speak up and ask for what we wanted; tools the other 75 percent of the student body, for the most part, didn’t need to think about. With grad school behind us, my friends and I settled into good positions at good jobs, found livable-sized apartments in San Francisco, built lives we were proud of.I’d had relationships — some serious, one as short as a day, and more two- to three-month experiments than I could count — but for the most part, for the bulk of my adult life, I had been single. I watched friends from high school, then couples from college, pair up and settle down. I wanted independence, self-discovery, the autonomy to make my own choices.I moved to an apartment in the East Village and jumped head-first into a fancy consulting job, followed by a cross-country move to California for business school. No, it’s not love between a successful doctor and a successful lawyer. No, actually, the friends are a repurposed school desk and a hen-of-the-woods mushroom. This is the kind of love, the rarest and specialest kind, that involves two shining beacons of their professions. Cowen told the Post's Michael Rosenwald that despite Washington, D.